At the Spring Trade Expo, I was talking with a multi-unit operator who said something I haven’t stopped thinking about: “We raised wages. We added retention bonuses. We gave people flexibility. And they’re still leaving.”
So I asked: “Have you asked your team if they trust their managers?” He paused. Then said, “Honestly? I don’t know.”
And that’s the problem. Because turnover isn’t always about money, hours, or burnout. Sometimes, it’s about something more foundational. Something we don’t measure on a P&L. Something we avoid talking about because it requires vulnerability and reflection.
You’re not losing staff because they’re disloyal.
You’re losing staff because they’ve stopped trusting leadership.
Leadership Feels Lonely—for Everyone
One of my most requested keynotes is called “5 Keys to Never Lead Alone Again.” And do you know why it hits so hard with every audience—regardless of role or title?
Because leading alone is something every single person in our industry has felt.
That weight of responsibility. The pressure to have all the answers. The fear that if we delegate, we’ll lose control, or even worse, things will fall apart.
And underneath all that?
A trust issue.
The Wildest Trust Move in Hospitality
Let’s talk about trust for a second. But, not the fluffy kind, the real-world kind.
In no other industry do strangers walk into a building, talk to another stranger, ask them to walk behind a wall, cook something unsupervised, and then eat it without question. That’s the boldest trust move I’ve ever seen. And it happens in restaurants every single day.
So if guests can place that kind of trust in our teams, why is it so hard for leaders to trust the people working right beside them?
3 Ways We Erode Trust Without Realizing It
Let’s get honest. Trust isn’t always broken by betrayal. Sometimes, it’s chipped away by:
1. Inconsistent Accountability
One person’s late and gets away with it. Another’s late and gets written up. The result? Resentment and whispers of favoritism. That’s not just a morale issue, it’s a trust-killer.
Coaching Fix: Use this lens for accountability:
- Was the expectation clear?
- Was it followed?
- Is the response fair and fact-based?
2. Withholding Information
I see this all the time. We expect managers or shift leads to hit labor goals or control costs—but we never show them the actual numbers. We act like profit margins are some secret sauce hidden behind a curtain, and then get frustrated when the results fall short.
Coaching Fix: Start sharing. Trust them with data. Bring them into the “why” behind decisions. When people understand the story behind the numbers, they take ownership of the outcome.
3. Refusing to Delegate
I once worked with a GM who held onto every shift task like it was gold. When I asked why she didn’t let her assistant take over the ordering, she said, “If they mess it up, it’s on me.”
But what she didn’t see was this: every task she hoarded was a leadership opportunity she was taking away. When she finally let go, her assistant stepped up, the operation ran smoother, and she no longer had to work 70 hours a week.
Let’s call this what it is: ego disguised as responsibility.
We say, “It’s just easier if I do it myself.” Or, “They won’t do it like I would.” But what we’re really saying is, “I don’t trust them to succeed—or to fail and grow.”
Coaching Fix: Delegation isn’t about replication. It’s about elevation. If you want people to grow, you have to let go.
Trust Is the Foundation—Not the Bonus
Trust shows up in the little things. It lives in how we respond to mistakes, how we coach instead of correct, and how we ask for feedback instead of assuming silence means satisfaction.
It’s not a one-time speech or a team huddle. It’s the way we lead, every day. And it spreads. When you lead with trust, your team learns to lead that way too.
If your team doesn’t trust you, they won’t be honest with you. If they don’t trust your managers, they won’t stay loyal to your company. And if you don’t trust them, they’ll feel it. Even if you never say it out loud.
Trust isn’t a leadership strategy. It’s a human requirement.
The 3 C’s of Trust (Build Them, or Break Them)
Trust doesn’t require a six-month training plan. It requires a shift in how you show up.
Try using these three C’s with your team:
- Clarity – Say what you expect. Repeat it. Write it down.
- Consistency – Show up the same way on your best day and your worst day.
- Care – Real care isn’t just “being nice.” It’s investing in someone’s growth, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Final Thought: Retention Is a Reflection
At the Bar & Restaurant Expo in Vegas, a franchisee I spoke with said something that stuck with me: “I finally realized retention isn’t a department—it’s a reflection. Of me. Of how we lead.” That’s it, right there.
If you’re constantly replacing staff, ask yourself:
- Am I creating a culture of trust?
- Am I leading alone, or inviting others in?
- Am I showing my team what partnership looks like—or just demanding performance?
Running restaurants—or any business—is like being in a relationship. And when it’s not working, the answer is rarely, “It’s them.” More often: “It’s me.”
💡 Want a simple coaching form to help your managers hold better one-on-ones and build more trust in just 10 minutes? Download it free here.
Editor’s note: This is the seventh article in The Coaching Connection, a biweekly column from restaurant expert Jason E. Brooks. Check out the other columns in the series below:
The Real Reason Your Managers Are Failing (And it’s Not What You Think)
How the ‘4 Walls, 4 Blocks, 4 Miles’ Strategy Can Transform Your Restaurant Marketing
The Simple Leadership Practice that Builds Stronger Restaurant Teams
Master Your KPIs: The Recipe for Restaurant Success
Why Onboarding is Your Secret Weapon for Long-Term Employee Retention
Why Restaurant Owners Struggle to Delegate—And 5 Steps to Fix It
Jason E. Brooks is a hospitality coach, author, and consultant with over 30 years of experience in the industry. He has worked with six of the top 100 restaurant brands in the U.S., helping leaders and operators set, track, and achieve their goals through actionable systems. Jason specializes in transforming restaurant operations to boost profitability and develop high-performing teams. For more insights, visit www.jasonebrooks.com, or connect with Jason on LinkedIn to start the conversation about taking your restaurant to the next level.
